911: Southerner Down


(Juliette)

Hey Y’all

This is Jennifer, and I’m writing about  my southern mother Juliette. My  mom can eat anything that is sweet, salty or fatty, you know typical southern food. She  literally wakes up in the morning eating Salt  & Vinegar chips and drinking Coke.  Before  she has even  had her first cup of coffee. So while I’m working out early in the morning, she stands there watching me, munching on chips.

 My mom decided that it was time for everyone to get healthy. She wanted us as a family to improve our eating  habits. She decided that  we were going to eat clean, so she dusted off  the blender.  Then, one Saturday morning, we came downstairs to my mom making  fruit smoothies.

She bought fresh spinach,  fresh fruit such as; pineapple, bananas,  blueberries, and strawberries. She also bought yogurt.  My mom was extremely proud that we were having smoothies for breakfast, something that has never happened.

The fruit smoothie was pretty good, I was thoroughly enjoying it. Then I looked over at my mom, and she didn’t look very good. She was starting to sweat, and she was literally green. I asked her, if she was alright. She said,  she felt lightheaded and then all of sudden she ran to the bathroom and began vomiting profusely.  My mom looked at me and said “I think I’m dyin.” She was down for three days, I actually thought that we would’ve had to take her to the hospital.

My mom made a full recovery, but I’m still baffled by Fruit Smoothie Gate. My mother is the epitome of being southern. She makes fatback, just to chew on it for no reason. She also  eats  liver pudding, grits, pinto beans with hammocks, fried okra, hot wings, sweet potato pie,  bologna, and macaroni & cheese. The real macaroni and cheese, the casserole that’s made in the oven. Not that shit that comes out of a box or made on the stove. The kind of macaroni and cheese, that bubbles and burns the back of your throat, because you don’t bother blowing on it. You just take it straight to the head lol!

 

The fact that my mom was almost taken out by a fruit smoothie with spinach, and other healthy ingredients from the earth truly befuddles me. The fact that she can eat all the southern foods, and the one time she tries to eat clean, she gets sick.

Well y’all my mom says that she knows,  what her body likes and she will continue to give it what it wants. She has  decided to cut back on her sugar intake, except when it comes to sweet tea.

She even  got rid of the jelly beans that were hidden behind the Christmas wrapping paper, in her closet. However, she doesn’t know,  that I know about the Mr. GoodBar, she has stashed behind the butter.

-Southern Love

Hope Y’all Enjoy!

Remember  ya’ll not everyone in the South eats fried chicken, but if you fry it just right. We won’t turn it down!

Don’t forget to connect with us on Facebook @ southernlove and on instagram: @southernlove803

 

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